English 1113: Freshman Composition I
Dr. Christina V. Cedillo
When I was a young boy I can remember laying in my bed at night listening to my parents fighting. They would never fight until I had went to sleep but almost always the screaming and yelling would wake me. I would lay there and pray that they would quit yelling at each other. I couldn’t understand at this young age why they were so angry with each other. I would wrap my pillow around my head and try to drown them out until the fighting stopped or I fell asleep. As I got older I began to see that the fighting always stemmed from my fathers alcoholism and his partying. He would be home through the week and everything would be great in my innocent mind. When thing fell apart was on the weekends. I can remember my dad coming home from work and instead of playing cars with me or telling me a story he would change clothes and say he was going out. I can remember my mom pleading with him to please come home later and not be out to late; he would always say he would and then leave. I have more memories of my dad being gone on the weekends than of him being around. I would ask mom where he was and she would say, I don’t know Jeramie. I can remember how sad and hurt she would look and it made me angry at him for doing this to her. I began to understand at this early age this was no way to support your family and raise your children. This drinking and running around eventually led to my parents divorce. I knew then that if I ever had a wife I was going to treat her good, even if at this age I thought that would be playing Nintendo and playing board games.
I suppose in some cruel way my parents marriage taught me all the wrong ways to treat a lady. I can remember numerous times when someone from the library or school would call my mom and comment on how polite I was, and she would always tell me about it. Even though I was a young boy I still knew that women should be respected and treated politely.
When I met the girl that would later become my first wife I was 23. Her name was Nikki and she had started working as a delivery driver for a local store. I noticed one day she was having some problems with a heavy looking box so a ran over to give her a hand in carrying the box inside the store. As we were walking to the door she said that when she had loaded it there were two guys there and neither of them even offered to help her. I told her as long as I was around she wouldn’t have to worry about having that problem. We became friends and would talk when I came into the store. One day it was close to her lunch break when I came in and I asked her if she wanted to get something to eat. We went to a local diner and ended up talking the entire time. We never even got around to ordering anything due to being engrossed in conversation. I felt really bad about wasting her lunch and offered to take her to dinner when she got off work.
That was the beginning of our relationship and we dated for six months before deciding to move in together. Once we moved in together I noticed things slowly beginning to change in her demeanor. She would fly off the handle sometimes when I did the laundry and folded the clothes wrong or spent to much time doing yard work. When she would get mad I instantly would attempt to defuse the situation and try to calm her down. This would usually only make her angrier. There were other times when the same things didn’t seem to bother her. It was like she was two different people.
This went on for a couple of months. One day I was helping her day change a part on a brush hog when I asked him about her recent behavior. Ill never forget when he stood up and looked me in the eye and said “she quit taking her medicine again didn’t she”. I was totally shocked, I told him I didn’t know that she took any medicine at all and she had never said anything about it. He went on to tell me that she was extremely bipolar and that she had been on medication for it for years. He described things that him and his wife had went through that described my situations to the tee. He said every now and then she thinks she doesn’t need it anymore and will quit taking it. I was in complete shock by now. I couldn’t understand why she felt the need to hide this from me.
When I arrived home that night I confronted her about it. She was angry at first and tried to argue with me about it until I told her that her dad told me everything. She finally admitted she had quit taking the medication for the reasons her dad had stated. I asked her why she didn’t tell me about it. She stated that she was afraid if I knew she was bipolar that I wouldn’t want to be with her anymore. I let her know that recently she hadn’t been the same person I had fallen in love with and that I didn’t want to be in a relationship where there was uncalled for fighting. I understand all relationships have squabbles but it’s the screaming and yelling arguments that I cannot handle. After we talked about it she started taking her medication again and we went back having a great relationship and it stayed that way for another. Our life was going good and we were happy when we decided that we would get married. We married in May of that year and everything was going great. I was happy with where we were headed and ready for our life together. Unfortunately it was about to take a drastic turn for the worse and I was along for the ride.
It started subtlety and I’m really not sure of when I noticed her mood changing and her getting short tempered. It all came to a head one day when I came home from work and she met me at the door yelling about some of my clothes that I forgot to clean out the pockets before putting in the laundry room. I had forgotten a pen and it had ruined one of her dress shirts. I told her I was sorry and tried to apologize but she was not going to accept it and just kept on about everything she thought I was doing wrong. I could see the signs now and asked if she had quit taking her medication. I believe this made her even more furious and she matter of factly stated that she had quit taking it and she knew she didn’t need it anymore. I spent the remainder of that evening trying to reason with her on why it was important and letting her know I didn’t want to fight. I had been around it when I was a kid and didn’t want to be around it now. Sadly she was content not taking her medication and said that if I didn’t like it I could leave. I managed another six months of living a life I had said I never would I finally threw in the towel and filed for divorce.
I went through a very rough time after our marriage ended. I felt ashamed of the divorce and distanced myself from my family and friends. I hated giving up but I also I knew that I knew where that road was headed and I didn’t want to end up like my parents. I focused on my job and really tried to be a good person but in the back of my mind I felt like I was a failure. I knew that she was being cold and unreasonable but I still felt I should of stuck it out a little longer and maybe it would’ve gotten better. I would be in luck soon though. It was my 27th birthday when I met the girl that I now call my wife, my companion, and my best friend.
Her name is Brittiney and we met through a mutual friend that introduced us when they discovered that we share the same birthday. We started off casually talking a little bit. I found out she had just recently been in a relationship that ended badly. It turns out she had been dating a guy that it sounded like would make a great companion for my ex-wife. We had lots of fun making jokes with that for quite some time. We didn’t really date but did a lot of things as friends first like movies and going out to eat. I was reluctant to start anything for fear it would fail The more we talked the more I began falling for her. She had all the moral values that I wanted in a girlfriend. Her parents had divorced when she was young and she had seen the same things that ruin marriages and vowed that she wouldn’t fall victim to them like her parents. We gradually started spending more and more time together until people were beginning to think we were already a couple. I couldn’t help but notice that I was beginning to have feeling for her. As much as I wanted to start something with her I was scared. As much as I wanted someone in my life I believe I was more afraid of it failing. I finally realized I was stupid for not starting a relationship with the girl that seemed to be made for me. I couldn’t let past failures dictate my future anymore. We dated for a short period before moving in together. Everything was finally falling into place I had found a beautiful like minded woman to share my life with. I was in the kind of relationship that I had had prayed for my parents to have when I was a young boy. We do have arguments every now and then but in reality, who doesn’t. The main thing is that I know she always has my best interests at heart, and I hers. I look back on my life and I know that if it weren’t for the hard times that I was subjected to I would not appreciate Brittiney nearly as much as I do. We have both seen the dark side of relationships and we know that we don’t want any part of it.
Im happy to announce that as of today we have been married eight days! We were wed on Oct 5, 2013.